The views in this entry are purely mine and do not reflect the opinions of anyone else.

This entry started out as a commentary on some things people ask me, mostly in public rather than online, and it became something else completely towards the end. I’m not very good at staying on topic. I sounded like I was in a bad mood through some of it, but I’m really not. I’m my usual happy self right now.

I always write my entries in word so I can spell check and I won’t lose it if the entry doesn’t go through; I do that with almost everything I write. This entry turned out to be over three pages long, but at least this time I’m not throwing a tantrum about flamers. I got that all out of my system last week. Thank goodness!

Anyway, here’s what I originally started to say, plus all the other zombie slush that came out of my brain while I was writing it.

I get a lot of questions that I think are strange and I have to remember that the people who ask me the questions are not blind, and most of them have never interacted regularly with a blind person. On the other side, I get people who are afraid to ask me questions because they don’t want to offend me. So I figured I’d answer some of the questions people ask me here, and if you guys have anymore, feel free to ask me in the comments. I’ve never been asked a question that offends me; in fact, one of them really made me think.

One of my teachers in High School asked me if I dreamed; I do. Hearing that question, my mom asked me if I see in my dreams. I don’t, but that’s because I’ve never seen. I have friends who have gone blind after being able to see and they tell me they remember seeing, so they can see in their dreams.

Someone else asked me what the first thing would be that I would want to see if I could suddenly see. I hope that made sense. If I could suddenly see, I would want to see a picture of my grandfather. He died just before I turned eleven. I would also want to see a picture of my first boyfriend, who died of cancer after we were together for seven months.

But if given the choice, I would choose to stay blind for the same reason someone sighted would choose not to give up their sight if they had a choice. I would have to relearn everything. Not only that, but I’ve been blind all my life. It would be medically impossible for me to grasp concepts. If I could see tomorrow, I would not be able to tell the difference between my laptop and a picture of my laptop unless I touched it. New sight would do me no good at this point.

One of my college friends told her roommate what I just said and the roommate got very upset because she just couldn’t understand why I would never want to see. I guess you just have to be there.

These next questions didn’t offend me because I was blind; they offended me because I felt like my intelligence was being insulted. I know better now.

Someone asked me how I used a phone. I was taught to use one by touch. I know where the buttons are and what they are. I even used one of those annoying old rotary dial phones when I first learned how to use phones. Man, they took forever!

Someone asked my grandmother if I could be home alone. I was in my late twenties, so that question really annoyed me. I hate being treated like a child!

It was the question about what I would want to see first if I could that made me think. I was asked in High School and it had never occurred to me to even think of that before.

A lot of people ask me how I use a computer. There are programs called screen readers that will give you either speech or Braille output. I prefer speech, especially when I’m reading long documents or fan fiction. It’s a lot faster. I also prefer audio books to Braille books for the same reason. Plus, if I’m reading a Braille book I have to concentrate on what I’m reading and that takes away from the enjoyment of the story. Also, reading Braille puts me to sleep, unless I read out loud, but when I try to do that it just makes me feel silly; it feels like I’m talking to myself. I used to get in trouble for doing that in school when I was little because I always talked to my imaginary friends.

Have you ever heard the term “blindism?” Those are stereotypical things blind people do, such as wearing dark glasses or rocking back and forth. The rocking should be stopped when the kid is little! I never rocked, but I have friends who did. One of them did it at fourteen and it really annoyed me because when he talked to me it was very distracting to hear his voice go towards me, then away from me. It made me feel kind of seasick.

I don’t wear the dark glasses; some blind people have to because of photophobia, sensitivity to light that causes pain. The glasses protect them. I have no more light perception. When I did have it, I didn’t like the glasses because they hindered it. Besides, I was always afraid they would break during gym class or if I fell accidentally.

I was told once that I should where the glasses because people were uncomfortable when they looked at my eyes. If they’re really my friends, or if they really want to get to know me for me, they’ll just have to get used to my eyes. This is me and I won’t hide it; I’m not the least bit ashamed.

I don’t fall a lot, but I was knocked over once. Fortunately I fell on my side and my book bag broke my fall. Don’t mind me; my mind wanders all over the place and I just go where it leads me.

Some blind people choose a cane, some choose a dog. I choose a dog for several reasons. A dog is much more accurate, for one. Tiger will take me away from something that is at face level. I walked into the High School gym once with my came and the bleachers were only half folded. The bottom half was folded correctly, but the top half was sticking out. I crashed into it with my left eye. Tiger or Sunnie would have swerved to miss them, but the cane only found the bottom half, the part that was folded correctly and wouldn’t have hurt me.

Some people don’t want a dog because of the responsibility. I’d rather have the responsibility, and not only because of the safety issue. That piece of rubber and metal can’t love you back. Sunnie and Tiger are my best friends. Sunnie died a year and a half ago, but I still count her as one of my best friends.

When I go out in public, some people will talk to the person I’m with rather than me. “What would she like to eat?” I really hate that! It’s my eyes that don’t work, not my mouth or my brain.

Some teachers used to talk down to me. They’d make a point, then turn to me and say, “now Jodie, do you understand that?” I was in High School, but she was talking to me like I was a five-year-old. I was too respectful, and too afraid of getting in trouble, to protest, so all I could do was say yes.

Some people are afraid to use words like see or watch or look. That’s so silly! I say I watch TV, or did you see that, or I see what you mean; it’s normal. When someone asks me if I listen to TV I feel like they’re talking to me in a different language. “Do you speak blind?”

The thing that annoys me most is when someone says, “it’s amazing what *they* can do.” What am I? A different species? Some sort of alien?

I make jokes about blindness though; I hate Helen Keller jokes, but I’ll make other jokes. For example, someone will miss something and I’ll tell them they’re as blind as I am.

My brother told my mom and me once that he was going to get into a fight with someone because they said I was as blind as a bat. I told him, “well, it’s true! Don’t get into a fight over something stupid like that!”

Sometimes I’ll make a joke without even planning to. My mom and sister were talking about something one night, something they couldn’t see and I said, “I don’t see anything either.” I was talking about the light they were discussing because I still had perception then.

BTW, there’s perception and projection. Perception is when you can tell if it’s light or dark. Projection is when you can see it and you can see shapes in it. For example, you can see my outline if I’m sitting under a light. Or you can tell that there’s writing on a computer screen, and you can tell there’s a window open on the screen, but you can’t tell what the writing or the window is.

Some visual descriptions hurt my brain because I just don’t understand them. I had to read a book for school once and there were so many visuals in it that my brain kind of shut them out. I did have someone finally explain in a way I could understand how a penny could look different on the edge of a table depending on the angle you’re looking at it. It took someone who had had sight most of his life, then lost it, to explain it because he could see both sides.

OK, I’ve gone off on a tangent again. I do that a lot! But I have to shut up now and get ready for bed. I have to get up early for church tomorrow, and I’m going to spend the day with my cousins. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to comment to me. I don’t just mean about blindness either; I just happened to be thinking tonight about some questions I get frequently. I don’t even know why I started thinking about them; sometimes my mind has a mind of its own.

OK, I’m going now. I look forward to your feedback. Good night.